Friday, May 19, 2017

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Thursday, July 3, 2014

Well a lot has happened since the last post in 2010.  In the meantime, one relationship ended and a new relationship started.  We're now engaged and planning a wedding.

A short stint with a young foster child of 2 years of age and a longer stint with a deaf foster child of 15 years of age.  The biggest news is that my fiancĂ© and I adopted a baby a year ago.

Our baby will be 2 in August and parenthood with a newborn is an experience like no other!

I'm not sure if I will come back to this blog as the topic of gay adoption and fostering has been covered by so many.  If you would like me to post here, let me know by posting a comment.




Thursday, February 11, 2010

Re-opening wounds



It's been a long time since I updated this blog. A lot has changed in the meantime.

Rob and I are no longer together. People have asked whether having foster kids strained the relationship and my answer is always no. The kids we were fortunate enough to have were jewels that we both loved being foster parents to.

As noted previously, all of the foster kids have gone home. So the house is quiet. It's quite an adjustment but it is what it is.

One thing that continues to bother me as I move forward is that despite telling all insurance companies that the kids have gone home I continue to get mailings every month about the kids that are no longer here!

Talk about re-opening wounds. Just when you feel like you've gotten over the heartache of missing the kids, another letter arrives to remind you.

Not cool. Not cool at all. One of the unexpected and unpleasant realities of being a foster parent.

:-(

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Out of the mouths of babes!


So Rob and I got invited to attend the pre-school graduation of our first foster child. She's been back home with her biological family for quite a while so it was a pleasant surprise to hear from the family.

I'll be honest, in that I had some concerns about us attending the small town ceremony in rural NJ. I was hoping to just shuffle in and sit in the back and celebrate with the little one quietly and unobtrusively as is my style.

So Rob and I arrived and the little kids classroom was already packed with parents and teachers. We looked and within seconds were noticed by the little princess, who is now 4 years old.

Immediately she hollered at the top of her little but loud lungs..."MY 2 DADDIES ARE HERE!!!" She then ran up to us and gave us big hugs and grabbed both of our hands and proceeded to parade us around the room to everyone who would listen, teachers and parents of friends.

She always introduced us as 'MY TWO DADDIES' and threw in a few "I HAVE 2 DADDIES BECAUSE I"M LUCKY!!" for good measure.

It was both surprising and heart warming.

As friends have noted, the little ones don't know prejudice or bigotry, they have to learn it. This was a perfect example of how much this is true.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Saying goodbye to the foster kids and winding down....





Well it's time for another big change in our house. The time has come to say good bye to the brother and sister (ages 12 and 8 now) that we've been foster parents to for a year this month. The process to get them back home has started with weekend visits and talking through the transition with all parties.

It's not easy saying goodbye but in this case the adjustment wont be so hard for us as there was never any pretense about them being anything but foster children. They are adorable and nice kids that any parent would be proud to call their own. We'll miss them dearly.

We're also debating putting a moratorium on foster children for the short term. We want to focus on adoption and it has been our experience that being foster parents has distracted both us and the foster care system we work with from our original goal. The reality is that there are SO MANY CHILDREN that need safe places for the short term (foster care) that it is overwhelming. There is such a pressing need to put these kids out of harms way that the adoption cases seem to get less attention.

When these kids go home it will be a quiet house and for the first time in almost 2 years, it will be just Rob and me in our home. Hopefully the tactic of not being foster parents will reinvigorate our attempts to become adoptive parents.

Stay tuned!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Can simply naming your child be considered an act of abuse?



Question:
If you name your 3 children:
-Adolf Hitler Campbell
-Joyce Lynn Aryan Nation Campbell
-Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell

Can that be considered an act of abuse? Is it free speech?

Here in NJ, two parents who named their children the above and were refused a birthday cake for little Adolf at a grocery store are getting a lot of press. After the article that reported the cake refusal was published, the parents soon afterward had their three children taken away by the Division of Youth and Family Services [DYFS].

While the facts are not yet clear, some are speculating that the kids were taken away simply because of their names. As a foster parent that works daily with DYFS, I find this very hard to believe. I am sure that the same parents that would choose to name their kids in such an offensive way are not the parents of the year, by any stretch of the imagination.

Either way it is a very sad case. Could you imagine going through life being named little Adolf Hitler?
What is the point of naming your children this way?
If you have opinions of a certain way, then name _yourself_ this way but your children? I really do not get it.

Read more here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/16/adolf-hitler-campbell-mys_n_158624.html?view=print