birthday celebrations - inviting friends from the kids neighborhood
This past Saturday, Rob and I had a birthday celebration for the little boy in our home. During a recent case worker visit, the case worker asked if we had thought about inviting anyone from the boys home town to attend.
Well to be honest, Rob and I hadn't thought of it at all. We get conflicting messages from the foster care system about confidentiality. One supervisor had told us that they really urge privacy and prefer not to have parents who have their children taken away knowing the address of the foster parents. This seemed a clean and easy approach to take.
Now this case worker was suggesting that we invite a close family friend and the first thought I had was "...then the kids' parents will know where we live. Will that be a problem?"
Despite our trepidations, we asked the children to give their friend a call and extend an invite. They didn't commit to attending but said they would try.
Well our party started and during the festivities, a family we didn't recognize came waltzing in. The partygoers immediately got quiet as they didn't seem to be exactly like us. As an observer of social behavior, I was a bit concerned at the discomfort in the air.
Then the kids saw them and were ecstatic. Immediately they grabbed them by the hand and started introducing them around to the party goers. It was nice to see them being welcomed in a warm and familiar way.
It was also nice to see the natural diplomats among my friends making a point to engage the parents in small talk. Though we may be from different towns and lead very different lives, there are always commonalities to be found. One just has to look for them. Immediately, the shared interests were found and conversation was flowing.
After a good amount of socializing, pictures and presents, it was time for the visitors to drive 3 hours home. The goodbyes were heartfelt and it made me realize that the case worker was right. It was a good idea to invite these people as it made the birthday party all the more special for these kids.
Well to be honest, Rob and I hadn't thought of it at all. We get conflicting messages from the foster care system about confidentiality. One supervisor had told us that they really urge privacy and prefer not to have parents who have their children taken away knowing the address of the foster parents. This seemed a clean and easy approach to take.
Now this case worker was suggesting that we invite a close family friend and the first thought I had was "...then the kids' parents will know where we live. Will that be a problem?"
Despite our trepidations, we asked the children to give their friend a call and extend an invite. They didn't commit to attending but said they would try.
Well our party started and during the festivities, a family we didn't recognize came waltzing in. The partygoers immediately got quiet as they didn't seem to be exactly like us. As an observer of social behavior, I was a bit concerned at the discomfort in the air.
Then the kids saw them and were ecstatic. Immediately they grabbed them by the hand and started introducing them around to the party goers. It was nice to see them being welcomed in a warm and familiar way.
It was also nice to see the natural diplomats among my friends making a point to engage the parents in small talk. Though we may be from different towns and lead very different lives, there are always commonalities to be found. One just has to look for them. Immediately, the shared interests were found and conversation was flowing.
After a good amount of socializing, pictures and presents, it was time for the visitors to drive 3 hours home. The goodbyes were heartfelt and it made me realize that the case worker was right. It was a good idea to invite these people as it made the birthday party all the more special for these kids.
4 comments:
A great heartwarming event! Happy for all.
The foster kids thing has always seemed so difficult to me. You guys are such naturals at it! I'm so impressed - and heartened!
Wow, all those emotions. Glad everything turned out well. You guys are so great!
You guys are very sweet. I wanted to connect with you because I was doing a google search to see if anyone was doing something similar to what I am doing: http://daisygrant.blogspot.com
All the best!
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